There are few things my brain will do faster than whip up a clunky portmanteau, so much so that when I smash two words together to make one, my daughter actually says, “Oh, god, Mom, portmandon’t!” which is both funny and extremely meta of her.

I thought I made up “midolescence,” but of course, many clever, struggling mid-lifers have come up with it before me, as Google so rudely pointed out. It’s an obvious idea: combining the well-documented struggle of those painful teenage years with the new horrors and discomfort (to say the least) of middle age. Great, or even middling middle age minds do think alike, although there’s one guy who decided to try and coin the term to define a 26 year old, and it’s pretty obvious that the 26 year old is a problem that doesn’t need to be defined as much as thrown out of the basement.

There’s already a meme for him, stay away from my portmanteau